So.... there I was this morning, minding my business, when the boss (hereinafter referred to as Ebeneezer) came into my office and sat down with a stern look upon his face. It was at this point that I was informed that there will be no holiday bonuses for anyone this year. In my head there was a huge sigh and an "aaawww man.... come on!" but outwardly I held it together and I don't think I flinched. This is where it gets good. Since the boss is leaving on Saturday for the holidays and people won't know they are not getting a bonus until they open their paychecks on Tuesday, I was told to relay the following information to anyone who "copped an attitude" about it. Here is an example of a future conversation.
employee : Hi, Meeghan, I got my check but there's no bonus with it, when are we getting that?
me: there is no bonus for anyone this year, sorry
employee: what?! that can't be right... this sucks! did he say why?
me: I know it blows, but Ebeneezer said we are lucky to even have jobs
employee: are you serious? he's lucky we don't walk off the job right now
me: I am supposed to tell you to "stop worrying about your bonus and get back to work" because if Ebeneezer hears that anyone is not working then they are going to get fired
employee: he's an ass
me: yup.... merry christmas
my life is a-w-e-s-o-m-e
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